The Balancing Act Day 29 4.13.20
My whole adult life I have been trying to balance the two most important things to me. Me as a mother and me as a professional. I am sure many of us have played the same balancing act in our lives.
As the days went on we made choices that somehow fit our value system. I was never fully 100% happy about my choices and sometimes they would alter based on the needs of my profession or the needs of my family. All and all I was “good enough”. Probably better than good enough.
When the pandemic struck it was obvious that the only most important thing is making sure my kids transition to this unique time period as easily as possible so they continue to feel secure, safe and loved. The only thing I did for my profession was write this blog, and honestly it's probably more for me than for my profession. It is a way to share my knowledge about children and my ideas on childhood and parenting. I've had this idea to blog on the back burner for years but it was never a priority so it rarely happened.
Most of you already know how passionate I am about Play Adventures and there is literally nothing that will stop me from pursuing this organization. Not even a pandemic. Now that a month has passed I suddenly feel that my kids have found their routine and security. They know what is expected of them.
I was pleasantly less stressed despite fearing the death of the world as we know it(and maybe death itself) because there was no balancing act. I wanted to only be with my kids as much as I could.
Today, two amazing professional opportunities presented themselves and the balancing act returned. I felt like I was now ready to continue to progress with my ideas and passion. But, I felt stressed and angry. I wanted my office back that has been taken over by my partner which makes sense because he works much more and must since he is the sole provider for this family.
I have listened to friends giving up on the balancing act and feeling upset with it but also grateful for this time with their kids. I’ve listened to parents who are playing life's greatest juggling act ever heard of and I sympathize. I have friends who don't have a job to go back to and surviving has become real, so real. The stress. The guilt. The unknown. The nagging. It's all a bit much.
I know I am lucky. I know I don't want to balance. I know I love my kids and my vision.
I have no advice today. I only can say I understand. For the time being, this is the new norm. The old norm probably won't return but I expect there to be another adjustment period in the near to mid future.
I know that women's rights and feminism were movements that made things harder on women yet it had to be done because we had to have a choice as well. I know that separating from village type living to individual units has benefited few classes but has made it much harder on most. The only real benefit I can think of right now is in terms of the spread of a pandemic but not in terms of support systems. It takes a village to balance.