Try Try & Try Again
Try Try Try Again Day 31 4.15.20 Read about Day 31 here
There are children who struggle when they can not do something perfect the first time and give up when the path is even a tiny bit bumpy.
How can we make our children persevere, have confidence and try again without the whole world coming crashing down?
How you praise your child
Dr Dweck in book called: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success “...discovered that children who are commended for their results ("What a beautiful picture") or ability ("You're so good at this!") tend to fall apart when things suddenly don't come easily. However, kids who are stroked for their effort ("You must have worked really hard at that!") are much more likely to persevere, because they equate achievement with hard work.”
Break down a goal
I recently read a really nice idea for breaking down goals into small objectives that do not look as scary and are somehow more achievable. Let's say the goal is jumping rope. Draw a game board with pieces for your kids to advance to each step. Step one could be to jump in slow motion 10 times, the next one, watch mom jump rope, and the next square practice jump rope for three minutes. Repeat until you get to the last square that says: “I can jump rope”. This can be used for learning any new skill. Just break it down into small achievable goals so it doesn't seem too challenging.
Let them overcome setbacks
The only failure is not trying. Setbacks are the only way we can learn by trying again and again until we learn from our mistakes is perseverance.
Children often find their passion and play repeatedly the same games. Through this they learn many lessons especially what interests them. Don’t try to stop their passions. Often people suggest taking kids to museums and libraries and zoos but I think you just need to give them the chance to keep playing. Through play we learn so much about ourselves. I am not saying exposure is a bad thing, on the contrary, just make sure they also have ample play time where they are in charge of the process.
To read more on this topic here is an article from Psychology Today. The bottom line of this article is: “... the more practice children have in managing themselves and their lives, and overcoming obstacles to meet their goals, the more confidence and competence they'll develop...”